Yesterday, I learned that my critically ill and estranged father was dying. As a professing born again Christian, he has for years been using his internet page to assassinate my character, and that of my best half, blaming us for his “having” to post such calumnious content; therefore, the estrangement.
At the same time, he continually claimed he was waiting for me to “make things right” with him, posting such things as would encourage outsiders to think he really loved me, and wanted me to “be reconciled”. But the truth is, he only wanted me to turn back into the sin I had confessed, repented of, and forsaken years ago, which I simply cannot do, not even for a relationship with my parents.
“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…” (Jesus)
So today my son, best half and I drove up to see him at the hospital, with another strong message from the Lord for him to repent, which he didn’t know I had; neither did he know I was coming to visit. So when I (alone) appeared in front of his deathbed, before I said one word; instead of welcoming me, as his internet postings would have indicated, he bluntly asked me, “What are YOU doing here?” in a tone which clearly indicated that I was definitely NOT the person he wanted to see just then.
So I plunged immediately into my reason for appearing; he listened quietly, completely unmoved by the message or my quaking voice, thanked me for the message, asked if my best half was with me, and upon learning the affirmative (my dad hates my best half because my dad hates the true gospel), he told me I could leave.
Which brings me to my thoughts on death.
How can such obviously willfully sinning professing Christians die thinking they are in no need of repentance? How can they face God with such a defiled conscience?? I have witnessed a very God-fearing man on his deathbed who felt the need to repent in the face of death, who really had not much to repent of!! But such deceived persons who sin WILLFULLY (that means they KNOW it’s sin, but do it anyways!) can face the judgment of God unmoved by any fear!!
The bible says that “because they received not a love of the truth, God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.” He sure believed a big fat lie!
He kept the paper I had written my message on; not, I fear, to reread and ponder the path of his feet; but more likely, I suspect, to show others and twist it all to make it appear that I am such a mean daughter, coming there to see him on his deathbed with no comfort, only words of “condemnation”… It has been the case for years with every loving thing I’ve told him, trying to get him to consider the state of his soul…
Nope. He “believes”, therefore his soul is eternally “secure”, no matter how much evil he is still doing right up until the point of death! This utterly false PERNICIOUS* doctrine from Satan himself has turned many a soul away from the truth of confession, repentance, and a forsaking of all known and willful sinning by the grace and power of Jesus Christ (the true gospel).
*PERNICIOUS: Having the quality of killing. (Webter’s 1828 Dictionary of the American Language)
So was I mean to warn him of his danger while he lay there helplessly on his deathbed, where he couldn’t bully me (for a change)? Was I mean to offer him — from the Lord — one more chance to repent before he died?
The Lord gave me one thought all the way home:
A call to repentance; the most loving thing you can do.
Let others think what they will!