Thoughts on Death…

Yesterday, I learned that my critically ill and estranged father was dying. As a professing born again Christian, he has for years been using his internet page to assassinate my character, and that of my best half, blaming us for his “having” to post such calumnious content; therefore, the estrangement.

At the same time, he continually claimed he was waiting for me to “make things right” with him, posting such things as would encourage outsiders to think he really loved me, and wanted me to “be reconciled”. But the truth is, he only wanted me to turn back into the sin I had confessed, repented of, and forsaken years ago, which I simply cannot do, not even for a relationship with my parents.

“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…” (Jesus)

So today my son, best half and I drove up to see him at the hospital, with another strong message from the Lord for him to repent, which he didn’t know I had; neither did he know I was coming to visit. So when I (alone) appeared in front of his deathbed, before I said one word; instead of welcoming me, as his internet postings would have indicated, he bluntly asked me, “What are YOU doing here?” in a tone which clearly indicated that I was definitely NOT the person he wanted to see just then.

So I plunged immediately into my reason for appearing; he listened quietly, completely unmoved by the message or my quaking voice, thanked me for the message, asked if my best half was with me, and upon learning the affirmative (my dad hates my best half because my dad hates the true gospel), he told me I could leave.

Which brings me to my thoughts on death.

How can such obviously willfully sinning professing Christians die thinking they are in no need of repentance? How can they face God with such a defiled conscience?? I have witnessed a very God-fearing man on his deathbed who felt the need to repent in the face of death, who really had not much to repent of!! But such deceived persons who sin WILLFULLY (that means they KNOW it’s sin, but do it anyways!) can face the judgment of God unmoved by any fear!!

The bible says that “because they received not a love of the truth, God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.” He sure believed a big fat lie!

He kept the paper I had written my message on; not, I fear, to reread and ponder the path of his feet; but more likely, I suspect, to show others and twist it all to make it appear that I am such a mean daughter, coming there to see him on his deathbed with no comfort, only words of “condemnation”… It has been the case for years with every loving thing I’ve told him, trying to get him to consider the state of his soul…

Nope. He “believes”, therefore his soul is eternally “secure”, no matter how much evil he is still doing right up until the point of death! This utterly false PERNICIOUS* doctrine from Satan himself has turned many a soul away from the truth of confession, repentance, and a forsaking of all known and willful sinning by the grace and power of Jesus Christ (the true gospel).

*PERNICIOUS: Having the quality of killing. (Webter’s 1828 Dictionary of the American Language)

So was I mean to warn him of his danger while he lay there helplessly on his deathbed, where he couldn’t bully me (for a change)? Was I mean to offer him — from the Lord — one more chance to repent before he died?

The Lord gave me one thought all the way home:

A call to repentance; the most loving thing you can do.


Let others think what they will!


2 thoughts on “Thoughts on Death…

  1. Even God doesn’t go against our will. Had you left your self righteous holier than thou mindset at the hospital door and just listened…maybe he would have asked. No one likes to be preached at when not invited…no one. Wait until you’ve been asked. Wait until the Spirit of God orders it because the door will be opened. Until then…show restraint, show concern…show love regardless…unconditionally without hypocrisy…because you just don’t know what they have already done in their heart with their personal relationship with the Almighty who is full of Grace and Mercy. Besides by you broadcasting such a personal issue tells me there was no love in your message to your father.


    1. The Spirit of God DID order it, otherwise I would not have gone at all. God doesn’t always open the door we desire to see opened, yet he does desire that all men come to repentance, even when most will not. Your judgment of me and my motives, based on this very small glimpse into a situation you don’t know anything about, shows that SOMEbody could be “self-righteous and holier than thou”…

      My father was not named, therefore nobody has a clue who it is my post is about. Yes, it’s a very personal matter, but there are MANY professing Christians out there who believe the false doctrine of “once saved, always saved, no matter how much sinning you do in the meantime”. My intention is to hopefully help others ponder the path of their feet…

      And let me tell you, when someone truly repents, they WILL try to make things right with those they have wronged.

      One last thought before I quit: The very best way to honour one’s parents is to OBEY GOD, even if it means going against what your parents have told you…


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